Wednesday, February 3, 2010


"There's no substitue for being real"

hmmmmmm? I saw this today and it got me thinking about so many things. What does this truely mean? I contemplated on it for quite some time. I've discovered that being "real" is like "reality". I never lived in true realty, I was in denial about ALOT of things, had a HUGE EGO/PRIDE whatever you want to call it. Not sure what it took for me to get "real" ....maybe the years of mental abuse, maybe my hitting my rock bottom and FINALLY seeing God (truely seeing God) for the first time in my entire life. I'm not sure but I know that I have finally got it right. I am in no way perfect or claim to be (although some may talk behind my back and say I have a Holier Than Thou attitude), the old me would have said a few choice words about them behind THEIR back, but their words I'm told about don't affect me anymore. I have admitted my faults to God and to the people I have hurt and I am at peace with myself. I can't help but wonder though about a few new people in my life if what they say is "real" or not. They talk a big game and I want to believe all that is said to me but I am so very cautious. I have come along way in the last 2 years and I don't ever want to go back to my "old ways". It has taken me years to create those "old ways" and I am learning "new" ways every day. But just like an addict, we have tendencies to return to those "old ways". It's sort of a comfort, what is familiar. I am fighting with every bit of me to not give in to those old ways and just Live & Let Live. These people I have referenced .....I need to set my boundries and be ok with sticking to them and deciding who I should let in and if I do let them in only do it when it's good for me.  If they don't like the boundries that I have set for them, then they can be on their way.  I deserve to be treated the way I want to be treated so I guess as I get to know them better, time will tell if they are being "real" with me or not. I have to continue to not have expectations of them and like I said Live and Let Live.
Oh well....The "real" me if finally back and I absolutely love it. I will continue to take one day at a time and Trust that God has my back and will catch me if I fall again.  How about you?  Are you "real"?......just sayin'
Thanks for reading!
May God continue to Bless you on your Journey in Progress!
~Terri   <3